People seem to be interested in how I am doing, so I think I will start to use this blog as a forum.

Again, I can’t start before thanking all of you for your outpouring of support and for the incredible changes you are all making in your lives. I have never been more proud to be alive and to be a person. Look at what we can do! Look at how we can fly!

I have so much to give now that I am just trying to find a place or person or thing to put it in. A friend of mine just had her husband promoted to a job title that my husband formerly assumed. I pleaded with her to listen to me as to how to inspire and direct him. What to do to be successful. She said ‘look at you doing chessed for me, I should be doing for you’. I said my husband died – not me. If I shut off the giving valve, I will also die. Of course I am so much in need – love, attention, to be told that I look beautiful, a loving father who will wrestle and throw the kids around, who will listen to my petty complaints and put me back straight in line with avodas Hashem. A shoulder to lean on. My friends and community have filled in many of these holes, but let’s face it, no one is Aba and ever will be.
That lack will always remain and eventually be filled with more wisdom, and a deep yearning and closeness to my Maker which will push me closer to Him. Isn’t that what it is all about? To leave ourselves behind and bask in the glow of the Almighty. What could be more beautiful?

With blessings from Jerusalem,

Broken-hearted and whole,

10 responses to “State of Affairs in Mourning”

  1. petlover1948 says:

    So perfect and sad….and true. I mourn with you for the loss of your beloved. May you and your dear children and entire family be blessed with strength and G-d’s blessings.
    It is not proper for me to dwell on my own loss of love. Not through death of my spouse; but because of his lack of love to his children and me.
    Your loss is difficult beyond words.

  2. Sara Berzansky says:

    Batya, you are always on my mind and I really stand in awe of you. In my humble opinion, you are passing this test with flying colours. Your emunah and bitachon are something to learn from and inspire others.

    I have learned so much about Gershon from the funeral and the articles;I hope to incorporate some things into my life and family. May you continue Gershon’s legacy of kiddush Hashem and true giving to others!

    With much love and appreciation,


  3. Julie says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your feelings during this difficult time! Very painful to write them, I am sure, and difficult to read them too. Of course, his death has created a void, but a new beginning too, at least for those of us who found out so much about him after his death, which would be impossible to know if he was still alive. He has reminded me of what my ideals once were and inspired me to stick to them again. Hope that is a bit of comfort to you. Forgive me if not. Great to hear that you are finding the strength to go on and thanks for sharing glimpses of your life!

  4. Sara Rigler says:

    Dear Batya,
    To read of your courage and clarity and will to go forward and upward–to read such words a month from now would deeply impress me. To read them today, less than two weeks from your terrible loss, fills me with this feeling: just as we didn’t really know Gershon z”l, we really didn’t know the depths and heights of you.
    May Hashem give you strength to actualize your vision.
    Sara Rigler

  5. Devorah Stieglitz says:

    I am your number one fan, hands down! i just want to know everything, hear everything, read everything about Gershon z”l and you his most beautiful wife! There are no words i can use to express to you dear Batya how inspired i am by you and how much i miss him and his encouragement in my life. i cannot imagine the void you must be feeling. i keep wishing that this would all be a joke and he’s really here and i can send him a gmail chat and he will answer, but i realize that im still in shock because 2 weeks ago i spoke to him, he was here, and now hes not. so im traumatized, shocked, but YOU – you speak about it and you share your experiences – your thoughts – your feelings- your sadness- your belief in Gd and mostly your will to LIVE – and i just read and cry and try so hard to soak it all up. May you be blessed with deep happiness, satisfaction, connection to Gd and yourself and your children and may the emptiness be filled up with good warm positive feelings and memories. I wish you no more pain! i love you – Devorah

  6. Eve says:

    Hi batya, you don’t know me but you have moved me beyond words. I am coming to israel for a JWRP mission with a group of 14 jewish woman from Denver, Colorado and we will be in the old city quite a lot. Would you meet with us and give us a few minutes of your time. These women will be blown away by your faith and courage. Email me at If there is something we can bring you please let me know.
    May HaShem give you lots of koach!

  7. Batya Burd says:

    Ironically, before this happened I was being guided by a Rebbetzin and friend to start speaking to women – bringing them from a low place to a high place spiritually. They felt it was my calling in life. I guess Hashem staged this dramatic ending to my marriage, partly to provide me with a higher platform for this. Of course it was the time for my husband’s life to end independently as well.
    We just never know where we are supposed to be until we get there… until we read that new chapter of the book He is writing from Above. The answer Eve is YES. This was my calling before he died, and it continues to be now.

  8. Grace says:

    Hi Batya,

    I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to your husband. Please accept my deepest condolence for your lost. May HaShem gives you and the children comfort, and with His strength you could move on.


  9. Karyn Bogart says:

    I suffer and feel pain from lack of love & family…Your story is the opposite. I cannot even
    imagine what it be like to have it…and then it is just gone …oh, beautiful yet merciless Seas.
    What I can gather from this is that we are all truly Blessed to have G-d and Israel in our lives.
    The overall lesson seems that no matter what the situation that we all seek to work for Israel
    and for the survival of the Jewish people, not just be concerned with our own day to day stuff …

  10. dev says:

    Wow it seems like u got the message crystal clear my friend. Even in the darkest hour your spiritual light is shining bright and will lead the path for many to follow. Inspiring!

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